It was a VERY long, VERY difficult day today. Why is the ache so acute some days? Why do I keep having to sit with it? Dear god, I know becoming a shaman is supposed to be hard, but FUCKING OW already!!! I mean, the iPad is STILL in the box!!!
Thank goodness for E, who stepped up and took me to Packanack Lake and to Corrado's and made an Anam Cara space. Our relationship is so different now, and I don't think anyone really gets it, to be honest, but that's alright. We know we're on the right road.
My stomach is rumbling at me, payment for the rather unhealthy Nathan's dogs I boiled for dinner tonight. There's so much I should do, but I am getting tired, and the couch is looking mighty inviting. I think I'll just watch Smallville and call it a day.
I'm glad to be on that road with you, kid. You're right - our dear ones probably don't know what exactly our relationship is, and because it is a sensitive topic may be afraid to ask... just know, dear ones, that we are more than alright with each other. Maybe I'll make some space to talk about it in my own blog soon...
ReplyDeleteOkay, I just typed the most insightful post, and it got eaten.
ReplyDelete*sigh*
Oh well, I will try to recreate it.
Here is what I see when I look at you both:
There is a myth that in the Beginning, we were whole. But for reasons only known to Deity (and probably having to do with the fact that evolution requires pain-in-the-ass challenges and supreme effort in order to be effective), we were split into two halves, kind of like the way two cells split, each able to exist on his/her/its own, but not able to achieve wholeness without the other.
I believe that each of us meets our "other" at some time in each of our lifetimes. The challenge is to be able to "see" that "other," and to accept that "other" as being necessary to us and a part of us, no matter how that "other" is presented to us, no matter what form that "other" is given in each lifetime. Many of us are not open to our "other" with he/she/it appears, and many of us are too busy with worldly pursuits, or the gaining of personal power, to be able to "see" our "other," much less allow him/her/it into our selves and our lives.
Despite the very valid and powerful and pleasurable and uncomfortable distractions that are exerting such strong pulls on each of you, you have been able to "see" each "other," and you have been open to allowing your "other" into your hearts and your souls. No matter what each of you needs to do or focus on in your lives and no matter who each of you loves or dislikes, you each need your "other" to be whole.
You have found each "other," and I think you have been able to accomplish this in other incarnations, too.
And that is pretty cool.